As I sit in prayer, I am often tempted to grab my phone to plan my day with Jesus or to text the people on my heart. Often times I go in with a plan of what I want to pray about, or I have a spiritual book I want to read.
But today was different. Today in adoration, I just looked at Jesus, and He looked at me. Then I looked above Jesus to the crucifix hanging in the church, and I started to meditate on the sorrowful mysteries bc I hadn’t done a very good job of this during my rosary earlier. I imagined Jesus’s agony in the garden, His arrest, His scourging, when He was mocked and crowned with thorns, His long and painful journey of carrying His cross, falling, bleeding, and hurting along the way, His pain while hanging on the cross, looking into His mother’s eyes and giving us His mother to be our mother, and finally Jesus’s death. “I would do it again for you.” These are the words I heard echoing in my heart over and over. “I would do it again for you. I love you.” My response to Jesus in my journal: Jesus reveal this self-giving love to me. This arms stretched wide holding nothing back love. This emptying of Your whole self love. Teach me this love. Reveal it to me. Help me to feel the magnitude of Your love. Teach me to love in this way. To give of myself. To freely give of myself. To make a gift of myself. To hold nothing back when I love. To give everything. To be vulnerable. To be hurt-able. To be reject-able. But to do it anyway. Today I felt movement in my heart during prayer, but it’s not always like that. I know that it’s okay to make my to-do list with Jesus and read spiritual books in His presence, but today reminded me that sometimes I need to just sit eyeball to eyeball with Him and meditate on His life, especially His Passion. “There is more merit to one hour of meditation on My sorrowful Passion than there is to a whole year of flagellation that draws blood; the contemplation of My painful wounds is of great profit to you, and it brings Me great joy. Remember My Passion, and if you do not believe My words, at least believe My wounds.” (Diary of St. Faustina) “When you reflect upon what I tell you in the depths of your heart, you profit more than if you had read many books.” (Diary of St. Faustina)
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AuthorI've shared my story and my mission. Now I would like to share my heart with you. Here are some posts I've written over the years. Most are inspired by my prayer. Archives
March 2019
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