Every day I wake up and go to ‘school’ for an hour. I sit in front of the greatest Teacher in the world, and He looks back at me with the deepest love I’ve ever known.
I used to only go to adoration when I had time to squeeze a visit to the chapel into my day. I used to only go to daily mass when I had an extra half an hour to spare. Now, when we travel with softball and I don’t get to go to mass and holy hour every day, I feel like something is missing. It’s much more difficult to pray on the road when I don’t have the opportunity to be face to face with Jesus. I’m very lucky this semester to only have 3 online classes, so when we’re home, I do have more time during the day to visit Jesus than in past semesters. Last semester when I was student-teaching, I did not have time to go to daily mass or holy hour (or so I thought). In the past, I’ve given Jesus the time I had left over after doing everything else I had to do in my day. I used to think that when I didn’t pray consistently, it was because I didn’t have time, but now I realize it wasn’t that I didn’t have time. I didn’t pray every day because I didn’t have love. I don’t pray every day because I have extra time. I pray every day because I am in love. I love goodness. I love truth. I love beauty. How could I not have fallen in love with the person who embodies all three? I am in love with Jesus, who is goodness, truth, and beauty. I am in love with Jesus because I have seen the way that He looks at me and loves me. He teaches me how to respond in love through the way He loves me. Now I’m not saying that if you don’t attend daily mass and holy hour every single day then you don’t love Jesus. What I am saying is that I know I need to sit in front of Jesus every day or I will get frazzled throughout my day. What I am saying is that I know I need to receive Jesus at mass every day or I will feel empty throughout my day. What I am saying is that in order for me to love, I need to first sit in front of Jesus in adoration and be loved by Him. What I am saying is that in order for me to give myself to others, I must first receive Jesus’ body that He freely gives to me at mass. What I am saying is that I am my best me when I take the time to go to ‘school’ every day to first be loved by the greatest Teacher, Father, and Lover to ever live. Thank you for coming to my TED talk that was inspired partly by adoration this morning, partly from my master’s class on curriculum (hence the ‘school’ and ‘teacher’ reference), and partly from a Matt Fradd podcast I listened to earlier (Steven Rummelsburg on why modern education is not fit for humans).
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Today is the Solemnity of St. Joseph Spouse of the Blessed Virgin Mary, so while reflecting on St. Joseph & today’s Gospel in prayer, here’s what came to mind...
The way that Joseph responded to the news of Mary’s pregnancy is exactly what I want in a husband. Joseph, a “righteous man,” was gentle enough to quietly divorce Mary when he found out that she was pregnant out of wedlock (or so this was his intention). He had no urge to shame her, no jealousy, no anger toward her. His heart, I’m sure, was full of sorrow because he loved Mary and did want to marry her. But he also had a duty to be a righteous man. His intentions showed that even with the news of Mary’s out of wedlock pregnancy, he still wanted the best for Mary. He didn’t want to “expose her to shame.” His heart was not prideful or full of vengeance. It was full of a sense of duty and of love. Then, the angel appeared to Joseph in a dream and told him to take Mary into his home for she had conceived a child by the Holy Spirit. This tells us that Joseph was open, available, and attentive to what God’s will for his life was. When Joseph awoke, he did what the Lord commanded. Joseph was humble enough to listen and bold enough to act. He trusted the Lord to do this, which means that this great trust in God had been built over much time before this event. Joseph had to have been obedient to God in many small ways leading up to this moment, which undoubtedly provided a sturdy foundation of virtue to draw upon in this monumental act of trust. Joseph protected Mary through her pregnancy. He provided for her through his righteous work as a carpenter. Joseph was a simple man; he worked hard, did what was right, and fulfilled his duty. He served with love and humility, yet also with boldness, leadership, and strength. He was obedient, chaste, and disciplined in virtue. He was open to God’s will and receptive of grace. His desires and intentions were rightly ordered. This is what I desire in a husband. Joseph is what a real man looks like. Quite a few of my guy friends are doing Exodus 90 right now, which entails giving up a number of things including social media for 90 days, so they probably won’t see this. But I would still like to applaud the change I have seen in many of these men because of their relationship with Jesus, their community with other men, and their discipline in striving to build virtue. These friends of mine are becoming men. They are doing such a wonderful job of protecting the women around them and loving us in the most beautiful and pure way. I am so proud of them for striving to fulfill their duty as men as Joseph did. Here is today’s Gospel for your own meditation: Matthew 1:16, 18-21, 24A Jacob was the father of Joseph, the husband of Mary. Of her was born Jesus who is called the Christ. Now this is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about. When his mother Mary was betrothed to Joseph, but before they lived together, she was found with child through the Holy Spirit. Joseph her husband, since he was a righteous man, yet unwilling to expose her to shame, decided to divorce her quietly. Such was his intention when, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary your wife into your home. For it is through the Holy Spirit that this child has been conceived in her. She will bear a son and you are to name him Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.” When Joseph awoke, he did as the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took his wife into his home. |
AuthorI've shared my story and my mission. Now I would like to share my heart with you. Here are some posts I've written over the years. Most are inspired by my prayer. Archives
March 2019
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